Crushed But Not Defeated (Spark of Hope Book 5) by Nicole Dykes

Author:Nicole Dykes [Dykes, Nicole]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2023-05-28T16:00:00+00:00

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

andrew

“I just don’t know how much more I can take.” I listen to the young woman sitting in the circle of chairs during the Spark of Hope meeting, and my heart hurts for her.

She can’t be more than eighteen. Was kicked out by parents who called her horrific names. Living on the streets, it was nearly inevitable that she’d find comfort in a substance—hers being meth.

She’s clean now—a few days, but it counts. She’s going to Narcotics Anonymous meetings but can’t find a job, and she’s becoming desperate. And all I can do is sit here and listen, nodding my head in encouragement to keep her going.

“Everyone looks at me like I’m scum when they pass me. Or even worse”—her blue eyes meet mine—“with pity.”

Is that how she thinks I’m looking at her? “You’re not scum or anyone to pity,” I say, and her eyes lock onto mine with more intensity. “You’re brave. Could you stay after the meeting so I could give you some information?”

She nods and wipes a tear before the next sad story begins. One guy who nearly dodged flying the day his plane would crash. Another woman who’s trying to find the courage to leave an abusive relationship. A young guy who was attacked on his college campus.

Every story steals a piece of me, just like Miles said, and I try to push that thought away, hating that he’s right. Still, even if eventually I do end up a shell of a human, I wouldn’t change anything.

I love my job, and I love this trauma support group. It’s the greatest thing I’ve ever done, and it does help, damn it. But when the meeting ends, I feel drained, forcing a smile on my face as I hand the young woman information about a women’s shelter and the name of someone there who I know will help her right away.

I give her my number and tell her to call anytime. But as she walks away, I frown, wondering if she’ll ever come back. I always wonder if they’ll come back.

Some do. Most don’t.

“Hey.” Roman’s heavy hand on my shoulder makes me smile away my frown. “You did well.”

My smile drops, and I move away from Rome enough for his hand to drop off my shoulder. “Yeah, or she left here to go straight to her dealer.”

Roman swoops in front of me, his eyes trying to tap into my psyche. “What’s wrong?”

“What do you mean?” I try to shrug it off, nodding at a few of the meeting attendees on their way out, but Roman isn’t letting it go.

“Andrew . . .” His tone is teasing but serious at the same time. Taunting me into talking to him, like he likes to do.

See? I talk about my feelings with others. Miles is wrong.

“I’m fine. I just want the best for her.” Again, see? Totally talking.

“Yeah, I know you do, buddy. But you don’t usually act so negative.”

I want to drop my shoulders and plop down into one of the chairs.

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